Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Blog post 250

250 blog posts on this blog. That doesn't seem like that many, but then again I've been writing this blog, or the one before it since Ayden was a baby. Six years of blog writing. So much. I feel like 250 should be special somehow. Like I should do something new and exciting as far as blogging, but my creative edge is aparently dull right now. My camera charger is missing so I have no camera at the moment. No new pictures to post. So I guess I'll just tell you about today.

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my husbands step-father. I still cant believe an entire year has gone by. We still miss him and it makes me wish we lived further north to be with my mother in law and D. I hate that we live so far away from most of our family, but no matter where we live we would live far away from someone else. Maybe we should move to Nebraska and call us the central location.

Today my husband is working his first major job solo. Its kinda a big deal. He was nervous and had to sleep in his truck (not that uncommon) last night. At this point there is no way to know if he will be done for Christmas or not. Christmas will wait for him.

Today my first born is watching it snow in Colorado. He is surrounded by people who love him and cherish him, and yet I feel like he is all alone and needs his mommy. I'm fighting the urge to jump in my car and drive the 24 hours just to hug him. He is happy. This is all just my head talking. Or is it my heart?

Today I will bake a cake for Christmas. Not a happy birthday Jesus cake, just a Christmas cake. I'm not a big fan of trivializing Christmas into a cake and happy birthday song. Birthdays are frivilous. Markers to watch the passing of time and to celebrate the past. My Jesus LIVES. He was, he is and will always be. He is not just getting another year older. Christmas is the Advent, the coming, of our KING. I'm not going to bake a birthday cake for the King, I'm going to prepare myself for the Kingdom. He came, yes, as a baby. He came in humility and probably never had a birthday cake in his life. He promised to return, and that is why I celebrate Christmas. Because all the pain, all the tears, all of the horrible-ness of this world that causes Dads to die and families to live in three different states and daddies to sleep in theri trucks because work is so hard and mothers to have to send their babies across the country because of her past mistakes.. all those things will be wiped away. He promised. He is coming. And I'm sorry, but I dont think a birthday party for Jesus can express that.

So today i'm going to pray. I'm going to pray and prepare. I'm going to prepare my heart for Jesus. I'm going to prepare my home for my husbands return and my sons return. I'm going to prepare my car for travel and my two year old for his day.

Today I'm going to post my 250th blog post. In all its imperfect blogginess.

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