Convicted, and blessed

As usual, God had a plan and I let the liar convince me it was wrong. I've been wanting to do advent with my family this year. Advent simply means "coming". Christians celebrate the Advent season as the weeks before and right after Christmas to dedicate as a reminder that our Messiah CAME and promised that he will return. We celebrate not presents and santa, but the coming of our King!! The presents just reflect the joy. When I was a teenager I babysat a little girl and her family did a formal advent. They had a great little book and a sweet wreath with candles and on each Sunday they would do a reading and light the candles. I've wanted to do a version of this for my family, and sometimes we have. I don't remember last year, but I know we have done advent in simple ways almost every year. THIS year I was determined and felt prompted to do something with our Jesus Storybook Bible. If you don't own this, go buy it today... whether you have kids or not. Whether you believe in Jesus or not. It is the most amazing retelling of the story. THE Gospel. The Good news that we have a rescuer and he is on his way to save his beloved... and we are that beloved! Anyway. This afternoon, while it was not snowing, I sat down ready to work on my little project. I opened up an email from our Bossier church and saw that they are doing a formal advent. I got sad because it made me miss worshiping with them so much more. I looked at it again a bit later and realized that there was a link to a dedicated advent program through another church. I looked it up, and guess what they use as a supplement? That's right. The Jesus Storybook Bible. (Because it rocks). So when I tried to open it up it wouldn't and by then my funk of self pity was too dense to even attempt to break through. I needed to cry. So I did. Tonight, after grumping around for hours and getting short with my kids and eating too many Madeleine's my hubby called. And guess what. He is on his way home. Well sorta, he has to spend the night there and then check into a new hotel tomorrow, but tomorrow night he will be home!! I just rechecked the church's website and the download worked and it is PERFECT. We are technically a week behind, but if we do the readings on our own schedule weekly, Christmas Eve and finish on Christmas day it works out. So yay. I'm reminded of the scripture that encompasses this entire year. Mathew 7:9 says "If your child asks you for bread, would any of you give him a stone?" We have asked for so much this year, but we know He will provide. Every time He, in His glory, has given us much more than a stone. Today I needed to trust that. No, he didn't give me snow... but tomorrow I get to take my FAMILY to the Christmas in the Park event. WE get to drink hot cocoa and take a hay ride and sing carols. Even if it is only one night, we are squeezing Christmas out of this month! Snow or no snow, daily time with my husband or not, this Advent will not be wasted!!!

I miss...

Corporate Advent, Corporate worship period, my bible study, my moms group, traffic on Airline (100 percent easier than driving with five bazillion 19 year old aggies and their giant trucks and iphones), seeing stars at night, aspen in the fall in Colorado, cherry cider from that place on the road to Estes, impromptu worship nights with my girls, friends, friends with coffee, my husband, Lins kitchen, Monjunis, a size 12,(an nope im not acknowledging the restraunt/size 12 connection) my grandparents, Jim . I miss more, but im not going any further. there is so much to miss this time of year. So many reasons to feel sad. Lucas is gone and worse than that we have no idea when he will come home. Might be as early as next Friday, but might be 2010(seriously). This year reminds me of last year. I am avoiding wrapping presents because I was doing that, and enjoying Christmas shows when my mother in law called me last year to tell us that our beloved Papa Jim had died. He was such a joy to know. I know that for the Tilsens he was a later arrival, meeting Judy when Lucas was allready almost a teenager, but I met him at the same time I met the rest of them, and he was such a comfort to me. Everything seemed foreign and strange up there... but Jim made me feel ok. Like I could belong even if my family does march in the opposing picket lines. He made me fit in, and I miss him.
We've been tortured all week with bored weathermen predicting a major "weather event"... whatever. Remember when I was 7 months preggo and it snowed like three feet and we were stuck in the house for several days? That is a major weather event. This is called sleet. And not even the dangerous kind.
I think when it comes down to it I'm lonely, and then I feel guilty for being lonely because I know that its a GIFT that I get to be here, that I get to be lonely. Six months of unemployment means I shouldnt be complaining. But I miss my friends. And making gingerbread houses with them and singing songs with someone other than myself. Stinky non snow day.. why did you have to put me in a funk?

Please Pray

Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village church in Highland Village, Tx (North of Dallas) will be having surgery tomorrow on a brain tumor. They do not know of any malignacy yet. I know what I know from google searches. http://adrianwarnock.com/2009/12/matt-chandler-to-have-brain-surgery-for.html had some good info and a great challenge for us to pray and then to go listen to a pod cast or you tube video of Matt doing what he does best, changing lives. I know he changed mine. I know he gave my husband an amazing kick off on his Christian journey. We were at the village as visitors off and on for two years. I loved the church, but we knew we went living there for long and although that stretched into two years, and I now regret not plugging in more there are words that live in my heart and lead me to my King on a regular basis thanks to Matt. Phrases such as "Jesus wants the rose" and "on this side of the sun" have profound meaning to me. He was even the first pastor I EVER heard speak on the words Jesus said on the cross "Why have you forsaken me" and point out that it was what Jesus always did, point his people to the prophesies of who he was. Look in your bible. If you have a reference bible it will show you that in Mark 15:33 Jesus is refering to Psalm 22. I grew up being told by lazy preachers that this meant that God turned away from Jesus, abandoned him becaus the sin was too ugly to look upon. That when I sin I am too ugly for God to see. Not. True. God sees us sin and all and loves us sin and all and wants us sin and all so he can make us new. This psalm talks about being in the midst of the enemy, seemingly overcome. "I am a worm, and not a man, scorned by men and despised by people" (vs6) "Many bulls surround me" (12) "they have pierced my hands and feet" (16) "They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing" (18) "BUT you oh Lord are not far off" (19) "From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly, before those who fear you will I fulfill my vows" (25) "They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn- for he has done it." FOR HE HAS DONE IT. I dont know what God is going to do with Matts earthly body in the near future or distant future. We can beseech that he be spared so he can continue teaching, continue this amazing movement amongst the church, amongst our generation. I will pray that prayer, for God is a healer. But His plan is perfect. If he needs to take Matt home to bring attention to all that God has already taught through Matts sermons and videos then Praise the Lord. If God spares him and alows him a long healthy life Praise God. Please pray for his family. They had two children when we were there. Please pray for his church family and the north Texas community that Matt means so much to. Please just pray. Pray and listen to a sermon.