My boys

First Spar

Name my children

So lately I've decided I want to go MORE public with my blog, and LESS public with my children. So we need psudonyms. Good ones. The obviouse choice would be to go with a superman type theme. It just seems to fit us. Especially now that we really do live in Metropolis. But then what would mommy's name be? I'm not exactly a Lois Lane. Plus think of all the creepy things that could happen if people only happen on the blog b/c they google Superman. A thinks he should be "Spike". The short one.. well. so far he's just the short one. I want to start bravely posting on more of the blogs I lurk on. I'm finding some GREAT ones lately which have encouraged me so much. One in particular gave me a great idea for my nieces next birthday and showed me how to can applesauce, all in one day. Another made me pick up my guitar again, if only for a short time. So I'm taking suggestions.. which means you need to leave comments:-). You can do so annonymously you know. And if you don't have a blogger account, make one. It's super easy. You can do it.. promise. After I get some ideas together I'll make a poll! So come on.. come up with my super cool alter blog ego and you can win a whole lot of nothin. :-) It's a layoff doorprize :-).

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V

He's a heartbreaker, heartbreaker...

I went to Parent information night last night for Ayden's class. We listened to a presentation on class schedules, routines and rules. She covered some of their material for the year.. expectations ect. But the big thing learned, and that I suspected, is that Ayden is quite popular... with the girls. Yep. He has been coming home with stickers and notes from girls on the bus, and in his desk was no less than ten different handwritten/colored pictures and notes from girls saying things like "you're the best" "I love you" and "I love you co mush" which I think meant "I love you so much." One of my friends form Bossier has a daughter a year younger than Ayden and she told her Mama the other night that Ayden is in her heart.

You know what? I can't blame them. I'm in love with those big blue eyes too.

Ground Zero

We are back to knowing nothing. Back to no leads... no interviews and no money. I'm beginning to realize that Surrender is a process. Physically we have surrendered. Everything is gone. Our friends, our home, our life as we knew it is now something that was. We didnt even bring our computer with us, so now even files I asume are hanging around somewhere are not. What I'm having trouble surrendering on is deeper than that though. This cty hold painful memories for me. Bridges burned, not only burned but completely ejected from my life. It represents to me who I was, not who I am. But I'm not sure who "I am" is. I know who I AM is, but I have trouble seeing Him here. If God is really calling us to live here. To stay here... I'm just not ready to surrender to that. I'm trying though. The problem is that I have no idea where to begin. I didn't picture us living here in my parents home for more than a few months. We've been here a whole month now and are no closer to moving. Lucas has been out of work for almost four months now. We have 12 weeks of unemployment benefits left.

As far as my job search goes. Again. No idea where to start. I'm working on my resume.. which looks like absolutely nothing. How do you make six years of the most exciting work in my life, being a mom look good to a stranger who only cares that you can asnwer the phones and keep files where they go?

And back to the no leads.. not exactly true... but I'm no longer getting excited about "possibilities" b/c I don't buy them. L has contacts through a cousin for a job in transportation engineering.. working on the train track system. He also applied for a management position at the local Jewish Community Center... local as in on the other side of Metropolis. He grew up in a JCC in his hometown and would be great at the job. We would be going into it knowing it was a job of service and not mass anount of money... which is fine. We just want to be independent again. (A JCC is the Jewish equivalent of a YMCA by the way for those of you who don't know. They offer sports programming, after school and summer camps, even theatre.) (And yes, you can be a Christian and work there.)
So I know. depressing post. But its where I'm at today. We need prayer. We need answers and movement in our life.

Not Me! Monday

This weeks list of Not Me! moments.

I most certainly did not get angry at my husband for playing games on facebook that I introduced him to and convinced him that he "just had to try them". I did not serve my entire family lunch on paper towels because the thought of making another seven plates dirty made me feel naseus. At that same lunch I also did not cut up a few apples, grab the kids chip containers for their school lunches and call the meal complete. Nope. I always serve yummy well rounded healthy meals. Especially when serving my parents. I have not spent countless hours staring at a map praying that I get to move. anywhere. on it. And the biggest thing I did not do this week was walk around complaining that my mothers house smells like fish... only to realize that the smell came from where I absolutely did not spill a bottle of liquid doggie vitamins.. fish oils to be more exact. Nope. The horrendous embarasing stink did not come from my bedroom. Never. I always smell fresh and clean. Like a daisy.

How to lose your child at Nasa

1. Get three capable adults, separate them.

2. Place three children on a giant indoor playground.

3. Send one parent to the bathroom and don't tell everyone.

4. Stand on side of play structure "for a better view" instead of in front of one of five exits.

5. Get stuck in a crowd going the opposite direction when two year old heads towards entrance to the ball pit.

6. Assume two year old started climbing the play structure with the millions of other children instead of going right out the door probably under your very own feet.

7. Waste time climbing said play structure instead of immediately turning around and notifying security.

How to find your child: alert your husband who is much more clearly gifted in the "how to handle a crisis" arena.

We had a blast at NASA until this happened. And it happened so. fast. We got to NASA right before they opened, walked onto a tram to the tour of the historic mission control. While waiting in the lobby of mission control Desi was complaining that it was boring and Ayden corrected her kindly saying "actually its quite interesting." Then we went though an exhibit where they take you into a dark room with big movie screens and a fog machine and make you feel like you are "experiencing" a shuttle launch. Then they take you into an auditorium and tell you about the current missions going on in space and the astronauts up there right now. Then we ate. then we waited in line fr an hour so the kids could cross an indiana jones rope course. It was challenging, but Desi and Lucas finished the entire course. Ayden finally reached a point where it was simply too big for him. Then we went through some more exhibits. finally we let the kids play on the giant play structure which is enclosed in black netting making it difficult to see through. On the ground level is a bsll room for little guys. They can go in and put balls into machines tha hen spit the balls out or take them to the very top where they randomly fall down into it. I sat the kids down before we got started and showed them our "meeting place" where we would meet if we got separated, or if they came out and couldn't find us. We let the big ones go up and play and I stood on the side to watch Balin play in the balls. I stayed on the side because from there i could see him better.. and touch him through the net. He was playing fine for about five minutes, then turned and headed to the entrance. I called him back and he played some more and then turned and headed back again. When I realized he was heading to the door and was not interested in stopping I immediately headed that direction. The side walkways around the structure are narrow and as I headed to him I was cut off by a swarm of people. By the time I got to the door he was gone. My dad saw another little toe headed boy (who we kept spotting until we finally Balin) going up the climbing area so we assumed Balin was going up with the bigger kids. I sent Desi and ayden up after him and myself climbed the stairs to find him, but I couldnt. Neither could they. I went back down and Dad still didn't see him either. Lucas came up, and told me he had been in the restroom which I was unaware of... he immediately went into action. He notified the front desk by the door and gave them a description. meanwhile I as still circling the play structure, going up and down the steps determined to find him. When my stomach finally dropped to my knees and i accepted that he was gone and I needed to do something I heard Lucas calling from below. He had Balin. Thats when I started to tear up, and when I got to them and Lucas said security had him in a gift shop I lost it. I lost my baby.. and did nothing effective to find him. At NASA. A Major attraction in a major city. All I could do was circle a playground and send my six year old to do my job. I'm still struggling with this. Its hard to forgive yourself for causing a near disaster. a Life ending disaster. My husband was my hero though and brought me back my baby safe and sound. Terrified and sobbing and shoeless, but safe. Here are some happy pictures from the day... before I fell into the category of "those moms"... you know... "those moms' who lose their children in public places.

I know something!!

Lucas got a call back for an engineering job in Williston, North Dakota. He interviwed over the phone yesterday and next week he will fly out on Wednesday for an inperson interview. North Dakota? Really? We have no idea if he will actually get the job, but everything so far is very promising. They are a Canadian privately held company that provides energy services. Much like what he was doing. Lucas would be hired into a training program similar to what he was in, and they say they will honor what he already studied! Great job with great opportunity.
The thing about North Dakota. Its really really cold there. And tiny towns. It would be a major stretch for me personally. We go from church shopping from hundreds of churches to church shopping from about 7.. I counted. I would have to choose from four public schools. (should we continue with public school... not something we've talked about). There are two.. count them.. two grocery stores. But there is a McDonalds and and Arby's so I guess we won't starve. North Dakota has been on our minds since last May. I'm not sure if I should note that as ironic of as providence. In May Lucas's then manager approached him and the other engineers with a lab tech position in Dickinson ND. No one else wanted it as it would have been a step down in pay... bu for some weird reason we were intrigued. Lucas contacted them and sent his resume but nothing came of it. Last month we made contact with the region manager for another position with that company that we thought was in Gillette WY. He said.. nope, no job there.. but hey, I have one open in (you guessed it ) Dickinson North Dakota. Lucas sent his resume, talked to the district manager and nothing came of it. That position was only an operator position.. a big step down, but we're willing to work for peanuts at this point. Lucas has sent resumes to 23 states and 12 countries, that we have record of. (lots of jobs are anonymously listed). I point that out to make it clear that we ourselves are not seeking North Dakota jobs, although we have been a bit heavy handed in hoping for a job in the rockies region so that someday we can get to Denver. I recently saw a claim on a website that North Dakota has the strongest job market in the country right now due to its high state surplus. I don't know if that's true but I do know that the doors and windows in our life keep opening to the cool breeze of the northern prairie. To top it off, Balin got into Desi's room the other day and took apart a wooden puzzle of all the states. He brought us one piece. North Dakota. right. So if Lucas gets turned down on this job I'll feel no different from all the other jobs he has been turned down on. A bit disappointed, but God is in control. If he does not get turned down.. well we saw it coming. Bring on the parkas. Anyone have snowsuits in a boys size 7 and 2?

a lyric for you

Thank you Randy Kaplan for putting into words exactly how I feel at the moment.

No, nothing. No, nothing
I know nothing and you know nothing
They know nothing and we know nothing
No, nothing at all


I got two pet cats at home
One of them’s name is Muffin
Muffin is a really, really good cat
She just sits on the windowsill all day long
Soaking up the sun and purring like this
Pththththththth
And when she licks your finger
It feels like sandpaper
She’s the archetypal cat
But I got another cat
And his name is Nothing
It’s not that he doesn’t have a name
It’s N-O-T-H-I-N-G
Sometimes I spell it N-O-T-H-I-N
Then I add an apostrophe


No, nothing. No, nothing
I know nothing and you know nothing
They know nothing and we know nothing
No, nothing at all


Now as I said Muffin is very well behaved
But Nothing is totally depraved
The other day I came home
And he was climbing halfway up my window curtain
And he was reaching out with his paw
And his claw was treacherously close
To the Chagall lithograph I inherited from my grandma
And when I saw his paw and his claw
I said, No!


No, nothing. No, nothing
I know nothing and you know nothing
They know nothing and we know nothing
No, nothing at all


I also got a pet monkey at home
And his name is Kqxhc
That’s spelled K-Q-X-H-C
He was raised by ducks
His mama was a duck
And his papa was a duck
And when it came time to raise him
They said, How about Kqxhc?
Now he’s come to live with me
Well that’s another story entirely
Suffice it to say that Kqxhc
Is a very, very, very, very, very hungry monkey
The other day when Kqxhc woke up
He said, I want a muffin
I said, What? You want to eat Muffin the cat?
No way, man
We got rules against things like that
Kqxhc said, I didn’t mean Muffin the cat
I meant like a corn muffin or a raisin bran muffin
Or even a blue-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oohberry muffin
I said, What do you think this is? The Muffin Store?
We don’t just got muffins of all flavors
Laying around for the taking
So Kqxhc said, Well then what’s in the ‘fridge
When we opened the refrigerator do you know what was in there?
A box of baking soda left over by the previous tenant
And some soy sauces and hot mustards
And a bunch of duck sauces, too
Well when Kqxhc saw the duck sauces
He said, What’s with the duck sauce?
Hey, where are my folks anyway?
And I said, No, it’s got nothing to do with ducks
It’s from the Chinese restaurant
I keep telling them I don’t need more sauce
But they don’t understand
They just keep sending it to me anyway
And I feel bad throwing it away
I don’t want to waste food
And so I keep putting it in the ‘fridge
And it keeps piling up
Well Kqxhc said, I’m not buying that
I lost my appetite
I think I’ll just have nothing
I said, What?! You’re not even hungry
And now you want to eat my cat Nothing?
Just because he’s a bit depraved
And not as well behaved as Muffin
Doesn’t mean you can eat him and—
Kqxhc interrupted me and said
I didn’t mean Nothing the cat
I meant nothing at all!


No, nothing. No, nothing
I know nothing and you know nothing
They know nothing and we know nothing