Date night

Tonight I get to go on a date. And I could not be more excited.Tonight the hubby and I start a new bible study/ community group with our church. The focus is on different aspects of marriage and the set up is genius. Genius. For one hour we go to the church where the kids go play with a baby sitter and have group lesson time with other married couples, presumably of varied ages. (Haven't been yet, but this is my assumption). THEN there is a continued hour and a half of child care coverage so we can Go. On. A. Date.   Dates are a rarity around here. Baby sitters are expensive and hard to find, and we have never been blessed with local family that wants to watch our kiddos.  So the idea of date time, even for an hour, is very exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. The pressure is on and I may not have been very graceful in suggesting to my husband last night that this is his chance to come up with brilliant creative ideas that make me feel feel beautiful and special and that don't revolve around food so we can stick our diet and make memories that will last forever so we can have a beautiful healthy and awesome marriage. um. yeah. the word desperate comes to mind. Desperate for time with him. While I adore our children, and am so proud of my husband and where he has come in his career- I want more of us. And no- grocery shopping together will not cut it. I think part of the stress is that we never had the chance to date in the first place. We met on a trip to Italy an Austria with our choir in college. He had graduated and was heading home after the trip. We were both in the chaos of the ends of difficult relationships, but for two weeks we drank wine, ate pasta and explored the most romantic countries on earth. There were odd moments, like helping him select jewelry for his soon to be ex girlfriend and avoiding my recently ex boyfriend who was also on the trip~ and his roommate. But there were also incredible memory building moments like wandering around the Vienna Zoo watching children and seals, and polar bears and elephants. Or Singing together in amazing cathedrals painted with history, tragedy, and beauty. We had a long distance friendship based mostly in emails until he came to visit for one weekend. And then another weekend he came to meet my parents. And then another weekend and we were engaged. Dating was simply not possible. Then we were married, with my toddler son and we were poor.  Too poor for dating. Then came jobs and moves and more babies. Weekly dating has been a laughable concept. But here we are. Date nights a plenty And I wonder if I've missed the point all along. We have a great marriage. We struggle, like any couple, but I have a husband who does truly seek to be a good husband. We put Christ first (or should I say we strive to keep Christ the center of our own lives) so that when we hit hard spots we have a place to fall back on. Maybe I've been too focused on the perfect date than the man I have been given to love. Yesterday I spent nearly 6 hours ironing. Ugh. I hate ironing. Which is why it took nearly six hours. But while I was doing it, I couldn't help but think how happy he would be to come home to a closet full of clothes (and not a 60$ dry cleaning bill). All in all, between him and the boys there were around 22 shirts, 4 pairs of pants and a dress of my own.  It felt really good to bless him like that. Maybe that's how I should approach these date nights~ like the ironing basket instead of my birthday. Maybe dating my spouse is more about how I can bless him than what I get in return. One hour. An hour to give the best of me to the man I love.  Thinking in those terms makes the actual details seem so much less important. Tonight for two and half hours I get to focus on my husband. My Best Friend. My partner in this crazy life and I could not be more excited.