Dreaming in Pink

I doubt that the Author of THIS article had any idia that I would read it last night, burst into ugly cry and, completely unable to form words, throw my phone at my husband. The article, if you did not read it, is about a city in India that hosted a name changing event for over 200 girls. Why? because their given names mean "unwanted." My stomach drops and a lump forms in my throat as I type this.Anger and a deep sorrow grab me. I spent so much time in prayer over my babies names. I wanted their names to mean something. To have value. Ayden: literally means Fire- i wanted him to have strength where I did not,  Balin: the name of a knight Silas: a strong worshiper.  I have a list of "extra" names that did not make the cut. None of which are "unwanted". I know that I live in a different culture. I understand that in America to have children is so much cheaper and easier than in other countries. I get that. I get that they are lost. But my soul aches knowing that there are so many girls being named unwanted. And I wont even go into, in this bog post, the number of girls murdered before they even have the chance to be named. Why did this article hit me so hard? Because They are all wanted. Our King wants them all, and I specifically want a daughter. I know that to many, especially my dear treasured friends wh struggle with infertility, my desire for a fourth child might seem selfish. crude. insensitive. But I can't deny it. A pair of ballet slippers at academy and a picture in a Hannah Andersson magazine have also sent me into tears. I dream, literally, of baby girls being handed to me. This is not a new desire. And, just as it was so long ago, adoption still feels so far away. But I'm putting it out there. I WANT YOU baby girl. Wherever you are and whoever begets you. I'm praying for you today. I'm praying for your birth mother. I am praying that Jesus comes before I meet you, but if he doesn't I will be there. I will want you. And I will give you a name you can be proud of. But greater than any name I can give- Our Jesus values names as well. In revelation 2:17 we are told "To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it." He will give you a name sweet one. To all these girls in India I pray that you meet Him. I pray that you will know His perfect name for you. A name so far away from "unwanted."