Lovies

All of my sweet boys have bonded to specific lovie objects. Our oldest claimed three fluffy blankets with satin edges when he was a toddler, our middle child claimed a lion shaped blanket and Silas adores his Aden and Anais swaddle blankets. I especially love Silas' blankets. His first Aden and Anais blanket was one of my first purchases I made for him. Being the third child he gets a lot of hand me downs, and I wanted to do at least some shopping to welcome this sweet child. I fell in love with this blanket. Who wouldnt love the little goldfish? Ultimately we have a very gluttonous collection of these blankets. At least 8. There. I confessed. BUT "Fishy Lovie" is by far the favorite. And the one he calls by name.

 Today we had to make make a run to Target for some anoying necesities. We, myself and two toddlers, had finished and unloaded back into the car. Still reeling from a very expensive prescription purchase and hauling two very heavy toddlers into their car seats I was done and ready to leave when I notice something missing. Fishy Lovie was not in the buggy or the car! Ack. I was not looking forward to searching the entire store, but alas, I loaded the boys back into a buggy tears and all and headed back in. Not more than a few hundred feet into the store a sweet pair of siblings from our church came around the corner. They suddenly began to glow like superheroes when I realized what they were carrying!! FISHY LOVIE! They saw him laying in the aisle and immediately recognized him as belonging to my sweet one. I'm not sure what was more tender to me, that they recognized my child's lovie or that God would ordain their feet at that specific time to be the ones to find it. You cant tell me God doesnt love these precious little ones. I know there is some debate in mommy world about attachment items. I personaly think they are wonderful, and I'm a stay at home mommy with healthy adjusted attached to the parents children.  I have happily allowed my children to bond to an item that they can have and hold as theirs alone. Comfort they can keep close. Some argue that we should teach them to trust Jesus first, that attachement items make children focus on stuff, but I disagree. Don't tell my Balin that his lion isnt real. It isnt a belonging, but a friend.

 I could feel the hand of God today, reaching down to stroke my cheek, touch my hair. Saying life can be hard baby, I love you, here's a hug, a piece of comfort for you to hold close today. As parents we get to be that comfort. We get to kiss our childrens temples and put them to sleep with a snuggle and often a friend. Today these friends from  church got to be that for us. Doing something as simple as rescuing a lost lovie from a certain dirty end, the Church exists to be the body of Christ. It doesnt have to be huge miracles or world changing events! God is glorified in acts as simple as bringing comfort to a one year old and changing his mommy's entire focus for the day! I went from frustration over the cost of medicine to joy over my baby's smile. Its that simple my friends. Joy. In a lovie.

Switcharoo

I've finally done it people. I kicked diet coke to the curb. It's been 9 days and I'm feeling great! I'm still getting headaches late afternoon but an extra cup of coffee and some ibuprofen fix that right up. I've given up the silver can for several reasons, but the main one is that I had started to feel like a slave to it. I HAD to have one several times a day and was annoying myself at how many I would drink without even really paying attention. So, gone. But as I mentioned I am drinking more coffee in its place. I'm down to my morning cup, or maybe two if I'm brewing a strong keurig roast and then one mid afternoon. I got to thinking about all the Splenda and "sugar free" creamer I add and realized what's the point of giving up one form of an addiction to just fill it elsewhere? So artificial sweeteners of all kinds are being phased out. I'll start with the creamer. I was perusing my local target this morning and found an adorable white stoneware milk bottle for under 6$. I immediately knew it had a future with my can of spray on chalkboard paint. It also came with a handy silicone cap so I can make my own creamer at home AND serve it in something super duper cute. The creamer recipe is a work in progress. I think I successfully made flavored half and half. I'm working on the calorie count which is 30 cals a tbl right now. I'll share that when I figure it out. My goal is to get yummyness at under 20 cals per cup of coffee. This could take a while ;-). In the meantime- go to target, buy a milk bottle- add a label and grin.

Security

Sometimes security is easy. Sometimes all it takes is a hug. Or a home. Or a warm bed. Sometimes it takes no less than six blankets and a pillow. How grateful I am that even when we do not feel secure, we can rest in the Promise.

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone o Lord will keep me safe  Psalm 4:8

Friday Nights

 I love Friday nights. We curl up on the couch with pizza, or beans and rice ( their favorite!) and watch a movie. If we miss a pizza movie night they revolt. Stage a coup. Make extra laundry. This week we watched Dumbo and then played Settlers of Catan. Having an eight year old has given us amazing new opportunities in family fellowship. After two months of every weekend being scheduled, simply resting together has been great. I even put away the honey do list. How are you enjoying this first normal weekend of the new year?

A reason to go

It had been six years. Six very long years since I have been to Colorado. There was a layover once, where my amazing friends met me at the airport so we could meet each other's babes, but other than that six years have passed since my husband and I took our then only child to Colorado for his aunts wedding. The reasons we have not returned are plentiful. Babies in womb. Babies in arm. Lay offs. New jobs. No vacation time. Funerals using up any extra travel money we may have had. This year though those reasons became fewer and the reasons to go became abundant. A four year old who has never seen snow so he starts making up weird stories about it. Like it exists only as a fantasy. An eight year old who I desperately need to understand when he tries to tell me about his other life. Children and husbands of dear friends who I know only from facebook statuses. A long awaited first paid vacation... ON Christmas Day. But friends... what really moved my tamale laden self to drive 20 hours against the odds of an ice storm, cranky children, and graham cracker coated mini van seats? This little dude. And the years of prayer I've prayed over him.

He was as uh-mazing as I imagined. Feisty, sweet and chill all rolled up into the cutest little self. He played a bit with my boys, but mostly looked at me with complete suspicion. Who would blame him? I am quite intimidating after all ;-). I gave him a stuffed longhorn (only for the Texas reference people.. not the school!!) to break the ice. Just like my 1 year old he looked and then thew it down. No really.It was a classic I don't know you and I don't want your stuff toddler reaction. Perfectly adorable and I expected no different! I couldn't care less how he responded to me. It was complete selfishness motivating my visit. When you pray for rain for months, and the sweetness falls from the sky, what do you do? You run out into it and dance! Or stare from the window and weep. Or drive across state lines just to sit. God is good my friends. He delivers the helpless. He cares for the orphan. Each little life, from the moment of conception matters to Him... and he provides. For Briggs, he provided Becky and Mark... and the rest of their large, loving and happy to have  him home family. 

For Briggs this was the answer. It wont be the same for all of them,the nearly 400 million orphans in this world, but seeing Briggs answered a big question for my husband and I. We have arms. And they are waiting to be filled. Even if every old lady at walmart thinks my hands are full. I have room for another. For a daughter. And I want her. So I'm praying. It could be years people. Many many many years, but we're ok with that. Because we saw the proof. The same proof I see in my little sister. In my niece. No matter how God does it, I know it will happen. Adoption is a miracle, and ours is beginning. If only in our hearts. I wonder sometimes, how it happens. That amazing connection I hear adopting parents speak of. The immediate love. How in four months a little boy can go from an orphanage in Ethiopia to falling asleep holding his Mommy's hand in the back of my mini van. Complete trust. Complete love.  Complete redemption. A baby born in a manger. A miracle. Complete. This has been an amazing Christmas. There is much more to share, but for now, another shot of the perfection that is Mr. Briggs. You can tell how much he adores me, right? That's alright buddy. I'm perfectly fine loving you from afar!